SadME

i would if i could

2011-06-07T02:41:00.002+08:00

i think my old school blog for allowing me to vent my gas out here.

2.42am - listening to white horse - taylor swift.

just got home from some booze. some eye opening for me, i really laugh with tears from my stupidity..., i really felt so stupid for the first time. first i couldnt belive my eyes for wad i have seen but i hate myself for knowing wad is going through around my even when i drink too much. im too silly, im too dumb, im too stupid, im too naive. they have told me the truth, i had only wanted to see it for myself. never in my mind, i had thought it would be him, i guess, i was just another friend. why does this happen to me? why? i ask myself. thanks guys, for opening my eyes.

2.49am - love story - taylor swift.

restarting blogging

2011-06-05T01:49:00.002+08:00

great, found my blog..........

first of all, thank you im-grounded.blogspot.com for me going to flood you now.

1.52am - not sure is it windy out there or not. in my air con room.

listening t0 Boys like girls - Two is better than one (Featuring Taylor Swift)

it has been 3 months that im keeping this love to myself. maybe i have told someone about it, maybe someone else has felt it happening. all i know that it is very mentally tiring to think about 小学 every time i unlock my phone. im making it sound like 小学 is very troublesome. she is not.

i had allowed my heart to do the decision making instead of my mind. why i know? because my mind told me not to but my heart just insisted to go deeper into it. one day not seeing 小学 at work equates to restless mind. this one is different, my friend told me so. 小学 and you not possible, he told me that. i had always told myself that i am not going to let this one spoil this friendship, but look at what am i doing? destroying it with my own bare hands. what the hell is"you friend is here" when she is the one that you loved? what the hell is i will lie to her if she is not ready? what the hell is by not telling her, i like the way it is now? its all denial. i am simply ashamed of myself. she told me, if i don't tell her, i am very selfish. when i think back, everything make sense. my pride is killing me now. the only way for me to know what is in 小学's mind, is to talk it out with her. even though i have something planned in mind, i believe, when God does wonders its never the hard work of man. so, i shall let Him arrange everything for me, all i need to make is the first step and let him guide me. guide me into solving this thing that has been troubling me for everynight for the last 4 months.

maybe its true that i can live without you

maybe two is better than one

there is so much time

to figure out the best of my life

and you've already got me undone

two is better than one?

i ask myself, i ask taylor, i ask you.

2.10am - bike spoil, stuck in my room looking for my old blog.

2009-09-12T02:22:00.002+08:00

since no one reads my blog anymore, why not i be frank and just type out everything?

i just ransacked my room and finally found the dvd that Sann made for Rubin before she left to go to Australia to study. the feeling of watching it was exactly the same as the time Sann showed to me just after Rubin left. i am so in love with you, Rubin. life has been really hard for me when you have left Singapore. everyday i wake up, thinking of the woman that i love so much and know that she is so far away. i couldn't do anything but just keep all this to myself. just when i watched the DVD that Sann made for you, i was filled with joy and tears just roll down my cheeks when i was watching it. i have never missed anyone so much in my life and it was you, Rubin, the special someone that i know that i can see my future in you, sharing joyous moments with each other and you are this very special person in me. i assure that this is not other kind of love but its the genuine love that i have for you. everything that i do, i thought of you. you are a big part of my life and i really dunno wad to do with my life without you. you are my everything, my world. no other words can describe the affection for you other than "i love you". i will wait for you to be back and i will always dream of you everyday, being my girlfriend, my wife, my best friend.

forest fires????

2009-09-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

i thought for a while, is the fire really that small that a small gust of wind can blow it off or its a wild fire that needs more firewood to keep burning?? no one has an answer for me, because the fire is burning in me.........

forest fires???

2009-08-20T22:58:00.000+08:00

forest fires... sounds bad?? it is bad.. it is happening to me now..

my passion for you, was on fire for going to 4 years. no forest on the world can last for 4 years of fire. some days, its wild fire. some days the fire is looking for another tree to burn. this is the only fire that when it burns, there is no air pollution and does not kill any animal along the way of fire. some times as the fire passes, there might be a river. is there a river now that is curbing with the flame in me? please let this flame continue to burn in me... someone please help me...

im glad that no one reads my blog now

Destroy

2008-07-31T23:10:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wonder how does it feel to smash a TV?
do you even have that chance to smash it??
Woohoo!!! it felt super good!
wad are the chances that you can smash a TV and no one give a hoot about you??
waahahahaha
Join the 31FMD and you get these oppotunity,
best stuff to do to release your stress!!!!!
31FMD YEAH!

Spoiled day

2008-07-27T20:58:00.003+08:00

You talk about asking others to keep quiet,
you got to do it too..
by asking them to 'shut up',
you are only asking them,
'carry on, you are just a loser'

a small comment telling her that
if no one wants to drink it,
you can leave it outside

it brought no harm
it was a mere comment
it was wad i mean
it was just a suggestion

you kept saying that i'm childish,
i think in a bigger picture
why do you have to spoil
someones day which is so bright full of rest

i dun hate this lady
i dun despise her
why she has to bring such displeasure to this home
for i dun know why

spoil

2008-07-27T20:55:00.002+08:00

Anyone needs someone to spoil your day, please look for me, i got a family who is ready to spoil everyday of yours.

Breathless

2008-07-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

i am breathless sometimes when i think of you

sometimes i have irregular breathes

is this a sign of happiness?

or is it pain?

and dun really want anyone to read my blog..

Think

2008-07-11T23:07:00.001+08:00

remember and thought of them again.. sometimes i really think im a failure in forgetting someone.. dreamt of one, kept thinking of the other, when will i ever forget them?

uncertainties

2008-07-10T22:22:00.003+08:00

Life's uncertainties.

another one came..

Rubin is not free on the 12th to go to Bird Park together.. wondrous sadness was in the both of us.

a friend needs the utmost love and support..

wad am i going to do for Rubin's last birthday before she leaves for Australia to study..

and i do hope that no one reads my blog..

will

2008-07-04T20:53:00.002+08:00

ever wonder wad will be in your mind just before you die?

i've experienced it before.

i was so close to death.

2 years ago.

Fly.

2008-06-29T00:24:00.004+08:00

The worst feeling you could ever get is when someone is going to leave you for a very very long time.

4th july, independence day. i have a friend. whose girlfriend is leaving him for 3 years to study in Aussie. how sad. separated for 3 years. only a powerful relationship would hold them together. good luck my friend.

Febuary 2009. She is going to leave Singapore to study Queensland. may it be 3 years may it be 6 years. i promise you that i will wait for you to come back to Singapore and i will get down on my knees and ask you to be my Girlfriend.. and you still have a life time to be my best friend. anyone who knows about this please help me in getting focus in that. thanks. i will miss you till i drop. 6 years. hard to move with it.

wad if everyone close to me is going to leave and go overseas? Sann will go after she finishes her NAFA. why?

half

2008-06-22T13:27:00.002+08:00

half a year has passed.

the band of brothers went into war. one died in combat. collapsed and coughing for his life. he was a smoker.

Betty Ross appear in my memories every time. all i can do is wonder where is she now. in australia studying or still in singapore? she says that she is sorry for hurting me. that is for leaving me. but that is not the most hurting astion that Betty Ross has done is not talking to me as a friend. i could feel the endless sorrow within the message of happy bithday. all i want to do is say, you still have a friend here to share with you your sorrows and that you need to cry or sob, you still have an electric blanket to let you cry in warmth.

One more join in the Super hero League. the League is now 4.

The Evil is reigning. the next full scale invasion is schedule to be D-Day 180708 H-Hour 17o0hrs. All personal please be ready and prepare for the invasion. Location: ?????

-Mr Green Signing Out-

time time

2008-01-12T17:10:00.000+08:00

its been long, i closed a chapter of my book. soon, i'll open one with a life of guys, band of brothers.. team of men fighting along side with each other and each of their lives depend on each other.. liberty of life has been great, how much i smell freedom, was too long ago.. 3 of my brothers has got into the cycle of real men, les, two left. soon, we will be transformed, evolved. soon..

almost over!!!

2007-11-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

last paper people!! but i think no one reads my blog le.. haha, good, i thought that it actualy might turn out to be a good thing that no one knows my blog.. time to enjoy!! but i need money, should i work?, hmmm

things

2007-09-07T12:10:00.000+08:00

sometimes people appear from your life as if they are like a gust of wind, but some time, they stay like an ugly stain on your shirt or a sweet song that you love.. i have that sweet song in me, beside me, and with me. its a sweet song that you hear it once and you fall in love with it. i found it, and i love it. you are found, and i will keep you by my side..

2007-08-16T19:20:00.000+08:00

today, i didnt go for the physics consultation. went to CMPB with Bryan to submit his palasimia thing.. after we wanted to go meet up with Rubin and Gang. took 195 and guess wad? we passed STC. didn't really want to expect to see pretty girls but until we were at the school Gate, this girl caught my eye, she looked like Cheang. Immediately i thought of her. her image just came to me and got stuck in there. againnnnnn

poor

2007-08-16T19:13:00.000+08:00

its already 16th august and im still poor, he still haven return me my money.. i dun have much money left in me. i hate the world so not perfect, i hate the flaws, i hate it when i cant help her, why, why is heaven so unfair to take this friend away so soon??

lesson 1: Delicate life.

2007-08-01T02:02:00.000+08:00

i have been thinking, this thought lingering in my mind. that i want to share.

have you all ever wondered how delicate life could be?? have you got thought that by accident, you or your closed ones passed away, leaving behind untold words that you regret not saying it out?? now its time to act

imagine in scenario 1: one day you pass away and became an angel and you see all your friends crying for you, then you see someone that you have not spoken too, because of a misunderstanding, all you could do is to look and regret that you didnt clear the understanding you have between you and her.

imagine in scenario 2: one day your friend or closed one passed away, and you realise that when he/she passed away, you 2 were in cold war, and have not had the chance to talk to each other. how would you feel? you will live with that regret for life!

Friends, life is unpredictable, the next moment, i might die, you might pass away, your close ones might leave you, do something before that happens when you will not live with that regret. initiate the first step, dun wait for them to take the first step for the victor is the first. be the first to tell a friend, how much you felt hurt because of her, how much it all was stupid and how much you wished it all didn't happen. cherish it while you can, or live with that regret for life.

For all my friends, im a life example. when my dad passed away, i was in cold war with him, i never know how much i meant to him until when i visited him in the hospital and finally he left. he was saving the last breath just to at least hear me, for he was in coma. i live with that regret that i did not tell my dad, how much i love him that i want to help him change. friends, do it now for life is delicate, anything might happen then next minute and catch you unaware. take care and do something about it.

Long

2007-07-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

Its been Long... i've been seeing her around school, it felt weird that i didnt go over and greet, its not me. i see her everywhere in school, when i see her, i sigh, thats all i can do.. i see her, at the times that i dun want to see her, in a day i can see her for like 5-7 times.. i dream of her and think of her, i should restrict myself and remind myself, its not her fault its mine, i was a jerk, i am still... Leong is a Jerk!

Done, FFFF

2007-07-15T00:16:00.001+08:00

haven been blogging that yet, i thought that i should use less com and study, need to stay a begger and beg for food and study hard!

2007-06-29T01:54:00.000+08:00

What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still HarderGetting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have
not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to doOoohhh....

here's a new songs that i really like, and i wonder, why are lyrics to true??? wad hurts the most, is when both are close, so close and painful, there is a contrary there, shouldnt people who are close to be happy and all, i think its really different for me, wad really hurts the most, its being close...

ASICS SHOE!

2007-06-21T16:49:00.000+08:00

i found the dream shoe that i want!! omg! its damn pretty, damn nice and SWEET!!! omg. i regret that i didnt take a photo of it, i regret that i didnt save money for it, i regret that i didnt buy it!

CONNIE

2007-06-18T23:24:00.000+08:00

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/647208/amazing_six_year_old_singer/
She's not only adorable - but dead on! Watch this amazing 6 year old sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow PERFECTLY on Britain's Got Talent. Even Simon was impressed! WOW. check this out! (:totally incredible..the pure innocence of a child's voice, cant help to be touched. (: she is connie!!

ain't gonna stay up til very very late today, i will just stay until 1 am and go to sleep and re ready to go to CMPB for my health Check Up.. pray hard, pess B!! BP also can! well.. im a little tennis crazy these days man, strokes are the thing that im REALLY in now, killer balls! Amy dun like it! hahaa well, al of us train strokes during play, so, im sorry, you really need understand that play tennis for practising my strokes! ya! haha TENNIS FANATIC!!!!! i invented a new word, tilya! haha meaning, till then.. so tilya everyone!

Forget

2007-06-17T01:31:00.000+08:00

Forget thou shall not.

first before i start anything, thank you drunken sailor, i really wonder if you are someone close to me, really, i would like to thank you personally! do let me know who you are though msn? its long_chlorine@hotmail.com.

There you'll be by Faith Hill

When I think back on these times,

And the dreams we left behind,

I'll be glad cause I was blessed to get,

To have you in my life,

When I look back on these days,

I look and see your face,

You were right there for me.

Bridge:

In my dreams I've always seen you soar above the sky,

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, For all my life,

Chorus:

I'll keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am there you'll be,

and everywhere I am there you'll be,

Well you showed me how it feels,

To feel the sky within my reach,

And I always will remember all,

The strength you gave to me,

Your love made me make it through,

Ohh I owe so much to you,

You were right there for me.

Bridge:

In my dreams I've always seen you soar above the sky,

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, For all my life,

Chorus:

I'll keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am there you'll be,

Cause I always saw you in my life, my strength,

And I wanna thank you now for all the ways,

You were right there for me, you were right there for me

Always!!

Bridge:

In my dreams I've always seen you soar above the sky,

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, For all my life,

Chorus:

I'll keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am there you'll be,

And everywhere I am there you'll be,

There You'll Be

A song from Pearl Harb0r, which is one of my obsession now, went looking for it high and low in Vivo and when i found it, i was so delighted because its only $10!! good buy man! but the soundtrack cost $30!! crazy $20 difference!! btw, anyone who thinks they might want to get Leong something for birthday present other than Rubin, you can get me the Pearl Harbor Soundtrack which is $30!! HMV! for Rubin, i think i want something for personal from her, hahaha, waaa i think im damn demanding! haha, but wadever she gives me i'll be glad to receive it! just like my last year birthday present she gave me a candle! haha, its something that i'll keep for life until the day that i think i miss her too much until the unbearable stage, i'll burn it so that her soul would be with me, omg, i think i sound like a pervert, but you know wad i mean la.

i realise another "C" name!! its Connie! another nice song, Samantha Cole, Without You

Pearl Harbor

2007-06-13T18:37:00.000+08:00

i write this post because i want to know whether true love exist. the persue of knowledge is just so great in me, but yet, i cant get any. all these true love in the lovies are just so touching, but can it really happen to me? pearl harbor, pirates, love their sound track, all by hans zimmer. superbly nice! i want to get their soundtrack! there is this some by samantha cole, with you. it really touches me! OST all the way!!!

ohhh i remember one thing that i want to post, its about wad im going to name my children!! here are some examples, dun mind if anyone who chances upon this entry, feel free to give me names that start with the letter "C"!, there is Colin, Coline, Chloe, Ceson, Celizabeth, Cole(but i dun really like that name), Cindy, Candice, Candy, Chermaine, Charmaine, Carrie, Celine, Chlorine, and i cant think of any more, please help me!! btw, Celizabeth is a name that i created for myself..its pronounce as say-lizabeth!!! help me!!! THANKE!!!

broken

2007-06-12T23:52:00.000+08:00

its a 19 year curse and its broken, and by alcohol! wahaha drink, drank and drunk! thats me!

i decided to keep away from it and go back to the way it was. i made a mistake, i feel guilty, pardon me, i'll repent.

Shirley quotes:
LOVE is always patient & kind. It is never jealous. LOVE is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. LOVE takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth.It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes...

thanks!!

curse

2007-06-10T23:15:00.001+08:00

its the same feeling year after year. i had never break the curse. it shall be like this always, i am willing to face it with all my might. i feels as though that i have something haunting me since the day i was born. i could remember, a day during my primary school days, i was crying on the day 11th June, for wad? for no one remembering the day i was born. i was crying, for no one cared. i was crying for no one was next to me, i was all alone to talk to myself. during secondary school days, i was sad, i didn't have anyone to go out with, i asked my friends whether they are free, no one was there for me. i had to tell myself that the day i was born is just another miserable day. i remember last year, claris had organised a birthday BBQ for me. and i greatly appreciated it. but it was on the 10th june, the last year of today, 364 days ago. on the 11th June 2006, i was alone at home, thinking of my ex. thinking that someone would have been beside me if we hadn't broken up. i was expecting a message at least from you, but in the end, the clock struck 12 and i had nothing from you. i was thinking of who might be with me a year later, that is tomorrow and never had i expected that the closest people around are not those that would be with me. i had knew that this day is cursed and i know it right. i will never expect anythings from you, and i would never expect that i would be happy on that day. i live with a haunting in me, for the rest of my life.

cursed day

2007-06-10T20:19:00.000+08:00

its 10th June.
i never looked forward to the next day.
for 18 years it has been cursed.
never something good happen.
so sad - sorrow, anxiety, depressed.
i'll thank you for any change,
but please spare me the end.
always have i wanted,
never will i get.
walk backwards, erase these pain.

MIAKE FAREWELL

2007-06-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

i think all about today's MIAKE's farewell, i think the most personal thing is this, Shirley, dun mind i type it out, i know you have a soft copy of it, buy until you come back from Macau(AW MEN) i think the sun has already set 3 times le. so here it goes

TO: THE ONE & ONLY FUN-LOVING LEONG:)

HEY LEONG! :) Although you didn't join us earlier this year, I really enjoyed those moments with you around. I'm really glad that I've got the chance to now you, and also to know you even more and better regardless of whether its during ake time, or out of ake time. :) all that you have gave, the warmth from your hands before out SYF, to the sharing of heartbeat when i was crying endlessly after we returned back to school, to the talks that we had over MSN, I'll never forget them. :) it has been really quick and short five to six month since i first got to know you better, and i really did enjoy your companion regardless of where and when,:) Thank You Leong, for all the wonderful moments and beautiful memories you've given me, and the endless encouragement & confidence you gave me during the SYF period. :) and also not forgetting, those happy and hilarious moments that you & Kiat have both gave me and the rest of ake, and of course, my friends. :) i really had a great time with I'm with you, i never fail not to smile or had my best bit of laughter after spending time with you & kiat. :) you guys are just real cool happy pills. :)

Leong, no matter what happen from now till in future, I'll always be here with you and to support you in everyway. in any case you need a bin to spew all your unhappiness, worries or doubts, or you just need someone to talk to, or listen to you speak your mind, I'm available ya? feel free to buzz me on MSN, or even text me. I'll definitely fly to your rescue. :)

Always think positive, love yourself more and never fail to believe that all going to be ok. :) keep going in life, and I'm sure you can do it. :) GO LEONG! More wonders are ahead, so don't think too much, keep going ya? :) I wish for your endless happiness & LOVE in life, and may everything be smooth sailing for you. :) LUCKS FOR THE BIG As, and must take real good care of yourself ok? LOVES. :)

Loads of LOVES,
SHIRLEY

there, here you go, that was from shirley... so sweet right?? lol

and i got a card and cookies from 3 year ones, here its

Happy Farewell '07

(tigger sticker)

Dear 2007 yr 3 senior
thanks for all your effort in AKE! :)
alt eh Best for Alevels!

From: Fanndly, kelly, Ming hui

they are really nice man... and the home made cookies!! NICE!!! i got 2!!! haha

i also have a cert!!

CERTIFICATE OF APPRECIATION

This certificate is awarded to
YEH CHUEN LEONG
in appreciation for the services
rendered to the Anklung Kulintang
Emsemble. Our sincere gratitude is
extended to you this 8th June 2007.

Signed by Mr Pow Tien Min Jaron, Ms Wee Liang Ping and Ms Lim Jiu Er Eileen

NICE??? haha, i got a collar pin too!!!

Day 3

2007-06-06T10:54:00.000+08:00

the past 3 days was really bad bad bad.. but Shirley!! i've passed this 3 days~~ well.. i just went to see Fang Min's blog and i realise that she is not coming online until school starts!! omg!! how am i going to survive this without my guardian angel close to me.. really sad man.. shirley!!HELP ME!!!!

miss

2007-06-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

its so late at night and its when i finished spoken to shirley.. i was having mixed feeling.. well.. she said many things to leave me to ponder like how is it that all this can happen where is is just human nature of the desire. she told me that she was going off to macau for a holiday with ehr family and would be back on the 11th.. she said that she had requested to her parents to come back early just because she want to wish me on the day! like she didnt have to. i thought it was just coincidental but it was half true only.. anyways, i decided to take a 3 days off and dun care less about myself. and when after the 3 days, i'd sure know the answer.. btw one day have passed... good night everybody! GUARDIAN ANGEL MICHELLE AKA FANGMIN!! LEONG MISSES YOU BADLY!!!!!!!!

lost

2007-06-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

i keep waking up today from my naps and felt something was wrong.. something was missing from around me and i felt lost. and i found out that you are not there, the place where i see you always... i miss you badly..

1st June-2nd June

2007-06-03T14:42:00.000+08:00

i realise taht somethings that i thought that i can write in this blog, is too sensitive to be in here. i shall post it in my diary, hand written diary.

tears

2007-06-01T15:25:00.000+08:00

i was talking to chengze and the conversation suddenly made me think of my DAD.. a sudden gush of tears came up my throat and to my eyes.. i held it and thought, be strong.. live on!!

SHREK!!

2007-06-01T12:54:00.000+08:00

i realise some things.. i call this a sad blog, but it seems like till today the post that i created are not sad at all... well... i'll just think of the long run and see how? if i really feel more and more happy i'll change the inro paragraph..
yesterday, 31st may 2007.. it was grandma mary's birthday.. so my family went down to orchid country club for a lunch session with grandma.. view was great and everything was nice except the relatives part.. seriously i dun like them at all... one by one surface out to be bad people.. lets talk about them one by one, there was 3rd auntie's family sitting in the same table as my family was. she was alright but her children or rather my cousins, were like crap.. chilli is my number one love, and i asked for chilli from the waitress and its obvious that it belongs to me.. from wad i heard from my sister, they were actually whispering about me taking the chilli all for myself... think about themselves too man.. they occupy the nuts before the lunch even started, did we say anything? like crap la... now to the next family, there was auntie doreen, this is not that bad la, she was actually like talking to my mum about going to army stuff and she said that if i get into the "scorpion" company, i would be really free!! but the whole point of me going into the army is to protect the nation(why do i sound so patriotic now?). ok.. so the whole point of it is that she thinks that im not capable of suffering hardship and train hard.. so, i'd prove you all wrong! i'll be strong and fit!!!!
well.. everything ended like at 3.15 or so, cant wait not to see their faces.. and sister gave me these tickets to watch any movie in shaw, i could think of anyone else so i asked Fang Min whether she ould be interested to go with me, and HOORAY!!! she was also bored to stay with her relatives because they were all boys.. so actually i was really lucky to have her out with me!! so we used the vouchers and watched shrek 3!!! so it was really a hilarious show, really different.. be sure to catch it.. in the meantime we got ourselves free popcorn, free pepsi and free hot dog!! wahaha, all free!! so cool right! well, we cut queues, we got really good seats to watch Shrek, and camwhore!!! haha every where can!
then after everything, i thought of bring Fang Min to have Hagen Dazz, but the outlet at the marriot hotel is no longer there. so, no icecream.. so walk walk arounf prchard and until it was like 8.30, we left for clark quey to meet up with jenna.. they would want to go to valvet dragon.. so, ya.. acutally didnt really wanted to go but, thought of accompanying Fang Min to where they needed to go because they were so lost of where that place was. walk, walk, river, cross bridge, cross road and finally we found the place!! well.. when places dark at night, i really cant have my direction for nuts man.. but in the end, some taxi uncle helped and finally we were at valvet dragon and guess who i saw??? old buddy chengze!!!!! he was there for one of his business and wow!! i didnt know that i was so lucky to see him there, it felt to homely so have a friend at such a place!! wow wow wow!!! chengze gave us the free tickets to get in the club but in the end, i cannot go inside because of my old old habit.. i was in berms!! well well... so still, i didnt get into a club so, my first is still reserved, but i thought that even if my first was with Fang Min, i would sure be happy to be there with her!!
so i left and went home, took me some time to find my way to the bus stop but i felt great havinf to walk that much!!! hooray!! and when i got home, i really felt enpty when i have no Fang Min to talk to on MSN!!! MISS HER CAN!$@#*!!

its going to rain now.. i pray hard that it would go away!! miss you Fang Min!!! My Guardian angel will look over you!!! talk good care of your knee ok!!! more telepathy on 31st may 2007, 15:10

limits

2007-05-31T01:50:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think that i might be too much.. its how i felt after today.. i thought it was just a random "for fun" thing, but it turn out to be a little ugly, sak was a little pissed with my actions and words and i guess he was really angry, i think its time for me to know my limits too... i realise that i might have been too much... sorry sakq.
well.. went to IJC band performance.. thought that we could hear Hilmi clearly but really bad, he was in 2nd flute.. sad for you Hilmi!!!! anyway, Hilmi, ALL THE WAY!!!!! I LOVE HILMI!!! YOU ROCK!! gold fish conductor was there.. haha, as usual i was captivated by him!! by how he conduct! DAMN FUNNY!!! alright, so was there not to support MI or IJC but only to support hilmi!!!
while blogging this, im still talking to Fang Min.. she gave me her photo and told me if i missed her, i could look at it and stop missing her, but how can that be?? i need your flesh! sounds like a carnivore.. then i gave Fang Min my photos and guess wad?? she thinks that my kindergarden photo is damn cute!! haha.. so im going to give her one of it to let her keep!! smiles, im going back to talk to her, dun let her wait too long... might blog tomorrow.. tataz

tired

2007-05-29T21:47:00.000+08:00

too tired to blog, but just want to remind myself that i feel really sad when its raining at the bustop and when im all alone

pon

2007-05-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

perhaps its not that sad today after all... physics lesson was darn boring can!!! 5 teachers all fighting to speak, like so retarded man.. as usual we went to I.R.C to play DOTA.. well.. those were quite fun and at least i had fun today.. while leaving for china town to meet my lao ma, fang min called and said she saw us.. well... she said she really miss me and i do miss her too... her big brown eyes and the hair!! haha, miss it all... fang min called soon after i stepped onto Boon Keng ground. she was complaining to me that sakq was bullying her... Sakq!! you die!!! fang min, you be my guardian angel or i be your guardian angel??? i need one now leh... or you need one too??? we be each other's guardian angel want??? haha... fang min invited me to go to sentosa to farisha's chalet.. so want to spend some overnight hours there with fangmin.. knowing that fang min sure needs someone to speak to and i hope i'd be of GREAT help to her!!! friday, i look forward. i want my sexy tanned skin!!! face with my sunglasses print!!! haha..
there is science marathon tomorrow again!! but tomorrow only starts at 9!!! horray to more sleep!!! sleep sleep!!! must sleep more!!!

think thought there

2007-05-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

i realise one thing, i've got a lot of friends who really loves me.. for example, HAFIZ!! he told me that he saw this big sized guy, and when he saw him, he thought of me first. well.. im sure he really misses me..
many friends think that i im someone without any trouble and can actually fight life without and difficulty, but they have mistaken the person for a monster. actually im not wad they think. i have lots of trouble and its just that i dun show it.. i only want to make myself happy and sometimes, i realise that im actually cheating myself. why? i bottle up off these problems and hope that my fermenting it, it would all disappear? no way that is going to happen. i ask shirley whether she believes that i have not forgotten wad had happened last year and she believes. its true that time can heal all wounds but never make a scar disappear. that's life, be it, and love it, if not, hate it and die. why do i do so much? all for one answer in life, just for my goals..

I turned really lazy..

2007-05-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

guess wad, i finally came back to doing up a blog. its been some time since i did a blog.. now i know that no one might find this blog and hoping that no one wil defame me.... im in a lost of words.. guess this blog would be like the same usual one, that SAD BLOG