raining...hard on me...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
i think my old school blog for allowing me to vent my gas out here.
2.42am - listening to white horse - taylor swift.
just got home from some booze. some eye opening for me, i really laugh with tears from my stupidity..., i really felt so stupid for the first time. first i couldnt belive my eyes for wad i have seen but i hate myself for knowing wad is going through around my even when i drink too much. im too silly, im too dumb, im too stupid, im too naive. they have told me the truth, i had only wanted to see it for myself. never in my mind, i had thought it would be him, i guess, i was just another friend. why does this happen to me? why? i ask myself. thanks guys, for opening my eyes.
2.49am - love story - taylor swift.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
great, found my blog..........
first of all, thank you im-grounded.blogspot.com for me going to flood you now.
1.52am - not sure is it windy out there or not. in my air con room.
listening t0 Boys like girls - Two is better than one (Featuring Taylor Swift)
it has been 3 months that im keeping this love to myself. maybe i have told someone about it, maybe someone else has felt it happening. all i know that it is very mentally tiring to think about 小学 every time i unlock my phone. im making it sound like 小学 is very troublesome. she is not.
i had allowed my heart to do the decision making instead of my mind. why i know? because my mind told me not to but my heart just insisted to go deeper into it. one day not seeing 小学 at work equates to restless mind. this one is different, my friend told me so. 小学 and you not possible, he told me that. i had always told myself that i am not going to let this one spoil this friendship, but look at what am i doing? destroying it with my own bare hands. what the hell is"you friend is here" when she is the one that you loved? what the hell is i will lie to her if she is not ready? what the hell is by not telling her, i like the way it is now? its all denial. i am simply ashamed of myself. she told me, if i don't tell her, i am very selfish. when i think back, everything make sense. my pride is killing me now. the only way for me to know what is in 小学's mind, is to talk it out with her. even though i have something planned in mind, i believe, when God does wonders its never the hard work of man. so, i shall let Him arrange everything for me, all i need to make is the first step and let him guide me. guide me into solving this thing that has been troubling me for everynight for the last 4 months.
maybe its true that i can live without you
maybe two is better than one
there is so much time
to figure out the best of my life
and you've already got me undone
two is better than one?
i ask myself, i ask taylor, i ask you.
2.10am - bike spoil, stuck in my room looking for my old blog.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
since no one reads my blog anymore, why not i be frank and just type out everything?
i just ransacked my room and finally found the dvd that Sann made for Rubin before she left to go to Australia to study. the feeling of watching it was exactly the same as the time Sann showed to me just after Rubin left. i am so in love with you, Rubin. life has been really hard for me when you have left Singapore. everyday i wake up, thinking of the woman that i love so much and know that she is so far away. i couldn't do anything but just keep all this to myself. just when i watched the DVD that Sann made for you, i was filled with joy and tears just roll down my cheeks when i was watching it. i have never missed anyone so much in my life and it was you, Rubin, the special someone that i know that i can see my future in you, sharing joyous moments with each other and you are this very special person in me. i assure that this is not other kind of love but its the genuine love that i have for you. everything that i do, i thought of you. you are a big part of my life and i really dunno wad to do with my life without you. you are my everything, my world. no other words can describe the affection for you other than "i love you". i will wait for you to be back and i will always dream of you everyday, being my girlfriend, my wife, my best friend.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
i thought for a while, is the fire really that small that a small gust of wind can blow it off or its a wild fire that needs more firewood to keep burning?? no one has an answer for me, because the fire is burning in me.........
Thursday, August 20, 2009
forest fires... sounds bad?? it is bad.. it is happening to me now..
my passion for you, was on fire for going to 4 years. no forest on the world can last for 4 years of fire. some days, its wild fire. some days the fire is looking for another tree to burn. this is the only fire that when it burns, there is no air pollution and does not kill any animal along the way of fire. some times as the fire passes, there might be a river. is there a river now that is curbing with the flame in me? please let this flame continue to burn in me... someone please help me...
im glad that no one reads my blog now
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Have you ever wonder how does it feel to smash a TV?
do you even have that chance to smash it??
Woohoo!!! it felt super good!
wad are the chances that you can smash a TV and no one give a hoot about you??
waahahahaha
Join the 31FMD and you get these oppotunity,
best stuff to do to release your stress!!!!!
31FMD YEAH!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
You talk about asking others to keep quiet,
you got to do it too..
by asking them to 'shut up',
you are only asking them,
'carry on, you are just a loser'
a small comment telling her that
if no one wants to drink it,
you can leave it outside
it brought no harm
it was a mere comment
it was wad i mean
it was just a suggestion
you kept saying that i'm childish,
i think in a bigger picture
why do you have to spoil
someones day which is so bright full of rest
i dun hate this lady
i dun despise her
why she has to bring such displeasure to this home
for i dun know why
Labels: thanks for spoiling my day.