raining...hard on me...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
i think my old school blog for allowing me to vent my gas out here.
2.42am - listening to white horse - taylor swift.
just got home from some booze. some eye opening for me, i really laugh with tears from my stupidity..., i really felt so stupid for the first time. first i couldnt belive my eyes for wad i have seen but i hate myself for knowing wad is going through around my even when i drink too much. im too silly, im too dumb, im too stupid, im too naive. they have told me the truth, i had only wanted to see it for myself. never in my mind, i had thought it would be him, i guess, i was just another friend. why does this happen to me? why? i ask myself. thanks guys, for opening my eyes.
2.49am - love story - taylor swift.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
great, found my blog..........
first of all, thank you im-grounded.blogspot.com for me going to flood you now.
1.52am - not sure is it windy out there or not. in my air con room.
listening t0 Boys like girls - Two is better than one (Featuring Taylor Swift)
it has been 3 months that im keeping this love to myself. maybe i have told someone about it, maybe someone else has felt it happening. all i know that it is very mentally tiring to think about 小学 every time i unlock my phone. im making it sound like 小学 is very troublesome. she is not.
i had allowed my heart to do the decision making instead of my mind. why i know? because my mind told me not to but my heart just insisted to go deeper into it. one day not seeing 小学 at work equates to restless mind. this one is different, my friend told me so. 小学 and you not possible, he told me that. i had always told myself that i am not going to let this one spoil this friendship, but look at what am i doing? destroying it with my own bare hands. what the hell is"you friend is here" when she is the one that you loved? what the hell is i will lie to her if she is not ready? what the hell is by not telling her, i like the way it is now? its all denial. i am simply ashamed of myself. she told me, if i don't tell her, i am very selfish. when i think back, everything make sense. my pride is killing me now. the only way for me to know what is in 小学's mind, is to talk it out with her. even though i have something planned in mind, i believe, when God does wonders its never the hard work of man. so, i shall let Him arrange everything for me, all i need to make is the first step and let him guide me. guide me into solving this thing that has been troubling me for everynight for the last 4 months.
maybe its true that i can live without you
maybe two is better than one
there is so much time
to figure out the best of my life
and you've already got me undone
two is better than one?
i ask myself, i ask taylor, i ask you.
2.10am - bike spoil, stuck in my room looking for my old blog.